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Yesterday, a MassArt student named Kevin Edson got himself arrested for leaving a backpack containing a rice cooker filled with confetti at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. Apparently he was also acting strangely: Sarah French, labradoodle owner and Emmy-Award winning news Anchor for WHDH Channel 7 in Boston took video that showed Edson wearing a black veil, a backpack and no shoes and shouting “Boston Strong” near the finish line.
News outlets (the media) quickly picked up on the story and found Edson on the internet. Barstool Sports, a alt-weekly attempt at journalism that approaches but never quite achieves semi-literacy (the title outs him as a “Pro Terrorist,” which would be someone who practices terrorism for money), soon found Edson’s Facebook page, and the world found its muse for the evening:
Lookit little old us, in the picture at the top of the story.
"…a physical demeanor that looks like it was crafted during hard time in a Marlin Gusman jail cell."
I always thought I was too pretty for jail.
Also laudatory action for Boyfriend up in there.
Welcome to the first installment of “Askjeeves #FFFFFF,” an advice column in which I cherry-pick questions from other advice columns and offer solutions from my own unique snowflakey perspective:
From Yesterday’s Dear Abby:
ABBY #FFFFFF: My husband drinks milk straight from the carton. He says it’s OK because he’s the only one in the house who drinks milk. (True.) I have told him I find it disgusting and that company often drinks milk, having no idea that he drinks straight from the carton. Isn’t this unsanitary — not to mention rude and selfish behavior? I’d love to know how to get him to stop. — GROSSED OUT IN NEW JERSEY
Dear Grossed Out,
This is a common problem among married couples: how do we deal with one another’s idiosyncracies? One little trick always works with me:
Let him do it. In fact, watch him do it. Get really into watching him do that insignificant thing that you hate to see him do. Think about how many other men are out there in this world; about how different things could be; about the infinite number of paths that were available to you in this lifetime, and how you chose this one; about how, had you chosen a different path, you don’t doubt that you would be the same person, the same soul, but what is there of life but experience?; about how the only thing that is keeping you from experiencing life exactly how you want to experience it isn’t him, but you; and about how even though it’s not anyone’s fault, sometimes married couples need to agree to a trial separation.
Our mastering engineer is cooler than your mastering engineer:
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